The Fangover: Warlow's Bronze Age Backstory; a Catfight in Jason's Den; and a Stake-Off at Vamp Camp

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This week’s ‘True Blood’— and its unprintable title— is all about showdowns. Our favorite Bon Temps residents face off against each other and the darker parts of themselves. Huffington Post summarizes the ongoing brawls: “Basically, all of our favorite characters are almost dead.”

Let’s take a look at the week’s match-ups:

Sookie Vs. Warlow

Sookie’s mission to take down Warlow was only half-successful. Seduction? Check. Destruction? Fail. Her ball of light only fueled the flame of Warlow’s affections. “While vampires may love Sookie, she's about done with all the fawning, thank you very much.” Hitfix.com attests. “Her acid reaction to Ben/Warlow's attempt to woo her proves she's had it up to here.”

Bill Vs. Warlow

A flashback reveals how Lilith originally turned Warlow in 3500BC. “Fairy Warlow meets a naked Lilith and does exactly what any normal fairy would do: Fucks her brains out, then acquiesces as she turns him into a vampire,” The AV Club explains. HitFix.com adds: “Ben/Warlow used to be a good guy. And then he ate his village.” Understandably, Ben has a bad taste in his mouth when it comes to Billith. “When we cut back to the present, Warlow's 5,000+ years of self-loathing come bubbling to the surface,” Rolling Stone adds. “These two are just asking for a showdown, as Norapredicted.”

Pam Vs. Eric

In this week’s Inside the Episode, writer Angela Robinson says the most intriguing element of the episode is the introduction of Vamp Camp. Critics were equally captivated by the menacing facility. New York Magazine reasons “how much sense it made” that “humans were finally, finally trying to figure out what made vampires tick.” Part of the investigation is psychological. Pam learns the hard way the first rule of Fight Club: don’t talk about your feelings. Her affection for Eric is used against her in a stake-off that’s straight out of fans' nightmares.

Sarah Vs. Jessica

The episode’s title is “F*** the Pain Away,” and “the pain being f*cked away was Sarah Newlin's,” New York Magazine points out. “After the Governor told her he didn't want to put a ring on it nor a baby up in it, she retreats to Jason's house for some extremely thorough hugging.” Rolling Stone enjoyed the romp: “It was so much fun to see these two going at it like rabbits like it was Season Two.”

After blogging about her unhappy meal, a disturbed Jess runs into Jason’s arms. She brings out the “the disarmingly sweet and honest Jason we keep coming back for (in addition to those abs and ass),” cheers Entertainment Weekly. “The best thing about this story is how it uses the insane amount of backstory the series has built up to its advantage, bringing Sarah Newlin and a freaked out, repentant Jessica into the same orbit,” argues AV Club. Sarah and Jessica “exchanged words during a homoerotic hair-pulling catfight that Jason probably would’ve enjoyed in an earlier season of the show,” Entertainment Weekly notes.

Sookie Vs. Lafayette/Corbett

The misguided séance proves the adage: the best-laid schemes of fae and men often go awry. “Not only did Sookie’s father plan to drive her off a bridge all those years ago, but when he takes possession of Lafayette in present day, he sets out to drown her yet again!” TV Line exclaims. “Where’s one of those high-powered fairy fireballs when a girl needs it?!” “As the episode ends, on Sookie’s scream as a possessed Lafayette thrusts her head underwater,” The AV Club writes, “It’s so clear: This is what we watch True Blood to see.”

Blood Buzz

@LaurenEBowles I'm not a "chick." But thank you!

— Michael McMillian (@McMillzz) July 15, 2013

Last week I shaved @Ryan_Kwanten this week I wear a dress. @TrueBloodHBO is clearly trying to tell me something.

— Robert Kazinsky (@RobertKazinsky) July 15, 2013

Whoa! @TrueBloodHBO THAT caught me by surprise! And the plot thickens!

— Jessica Mitten (@Jessica_Mitten) July 15, 2013

Each episode of @TrueBloodHBO keeps getting better and better! This season is the best! @joemanganiello@Ryan_Kwanten@BauervanStraten

— Brittany Hinrichs (@FashionEstaBee) July 15, 2013

Sound Bites of the Week

  • "When a woman comes to you in black lingerie, you unwrap her!” – Sarah Newlin 
  • "Oh, great, now you want to save me too?" – Sookie
  • "I always hated the fucking Book of Mark!" – Jessica 

OD on V

  • Rob Kazinsky, the actor who plays Warlow, had an HBO Connect Chat this week. Read the whole Q&A to get details on Warlow’s homoerotic scenes, night shoots, and Kazinsky’s American accent.